Sasha's Words
by Mythical Words
Summary: Sasha is an outcast at the high school. Thom is a new vampire who has joined the Cullens. When they are assigned to work as partners in class both of their lives spiral out of control... Sasha's point of view of Thom's Chance.
1. My Book

**Sasha's Words Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer. **

**Thanks to everyone who made this possible, starting with Amcraw123 and my dedicated laptop, (It's been through a lot of updates and fixes to make sure I can still type up my stories and go on the internet), and with the wonderful reviewers! **

I was looking into my locker, only vaguely aware of my surroundings. All my attention was focused on the book that had been calling me, since I'd last read it, early this morning. It was by my favorite author and I'd never read it before. I wondered about what was going to happen, allowing myself to daydream. Beka had to catch whoever it was. Who in Tortall could be doing it? Surely not Rosto, though he is the Rogue... And that was the second time Beka had run into Dale. He's got to have something to do with the fakes. I had to find out what came next. Even if it meant giving up my lunch. Not like the food was in any way appealing. I was a vegetarian- I didn't eat meat, poultry or seafood, though I did eat eggs and dairy products like milk and cheese- and I hadn't had time to grab a lunch for myself that morning. I'd been much too busy reading and getting my little sister, Sass, off to daycare. The small amounts of vegetarian items that the school cafeteria offered were all revolting. None of them looked like anything you'd want to touch, let alone eat. I took out my book, I had bought it for myself to calm myself down when my parents had called telling me they'd be back in town for a few days, subject to change of course. I always needed something to help me keep my cool, and my head, when my parents showed up or called. I had to be dependable for Sass. I heard the tread of a group of feet and looked up, my locker door closed behind me. It was a group of kids- actually they looked more like college age young adults than teenagers- that I'd never seen before. They all looked different though they were all very pretty with pale skin and golden eyes. They walked gracefully and their expressions clearly indicated boredom. Who could blame them? They must have been the new kids Terri was going on and on about. They were rather odd. Terri was the biggest gossip in the entire school and she had a mouth that never stopped moving. She wasn't one of my friends, I didn't actually have any friends in this stupid school, but I had the more than slight misfortune of sitting next to her in several classes. Then I turned back to my book, wondering if I could read it as I walked down the hallway to the lunchroom, probably not. It was most likely better not to try. I hurried down the hall to the cafeteria where I sat alone at one end of the table. No one in the school liked me so I tried not to force anyone to be near me, they would just make rude comments. I opened my book and was lost in the world of Tortall. When the bell rang to signal the end of lunch I got up and went back to my locker for my books. I had just closed my locker when I noticed one of the new kids, one of the Cullen's. He was handsome, like all of his brothers, with a pale narrow face and a strong nose and chin. His eyes were closed and he slumped as if he was exhausted from a horrible trial that he was going through. He lifted his hand to his hair, which was mostly chocolate brown, but had lots of streaks of vivid red and honey blonde. I looked at him for a moment more and then went to my next class. All through it I wasn't really paying attention, I was thinking about his posture and the way he seemed like he was suffering from something that the rest of us were oblivious to. When that class was over I had Creative Writing. I had a few minutes before the class started so I got out a piece of paper and a pen and started to write whatever came to mind. For some reason I wrote about the new boy, painting the scene that I had witnessed. I did this occasionally, when something wasn't normal or when I wanted to get something on paper and out of my head.

"Okay, kids!" Mrs. Kloren stood up, addressing all the less than happy teenagers in the room. She wasn't the greatest teacher. I'd had her the year before and she was lazy. "This semester we'll be writing stories. You're going to have a partner who will critique you work and you will, in turn, critique your partner's work. I'll be choosing your partner for you and then giving you your assignments."

Great; just great. Whoever I got paired with would do nothing but insult me and my writing. Some help this class was going to be. Mrs. Kloren paired off. I got paired with Thomas. Except I didn't know who Thomas was. When we were told to go sit with our partners I walked up to Mrs. Kloren to ask her who Thomas was. When she pointed to the new boy, the one who I had written about I sighed. I wasn't sure whether I was glad that I was going to be with one of the new kids. I sat next to him, since he showed no signs of getting up and put down my books and papers.

The boy, Thomas, said to me in a tone that was bland, "Hi, I'm Thomas Cullen."

First of all. Duh. Or I wouldn't be sitting next to him. Second of all the only new kids in this wonderful school were Cullen's, or as the case with two of his family, Hales.

"Obviously." I muttered so quietly that he wouldn't be able to hear. This time talking loud enough so he could hear me I said, "I'm Sasha." Again duh. But manners demanded that I introduce myself.

"You'll be writing a ten to thirty page fantasy story. Brainstorm ideas and discuss them with you partner." Mrs. Kloren sat down and completely ignored us. Just as lazy as last year. I picked up my pen and began to write. I always had a bunch of ideas for stories swirling around in my brain so I picked my favorites. The first was about a girl, named Cory, whose best friend, Bree, knows about and is friends with mythical creatures. The second was about a girl, named Alex, who finds out that she can shape shift into a cat and goes through a bunch of changes and trials. Because I couldn't resist I wrote a paragraph that I envisioned in the story at the end. When I was done there were five pages covered front and back with my writing. I looked at the Alex idea. It might work. But only if I twisted it a bit. Alexakai the shape-shifter. Decent idea.

"Okay, switch papers or read out loud to your partner."

Ha! Like I wanted to read my ideas out loud so everyone could have more ammunition to make fun of me. Right. Totally going to happen. NOT! I thought as I handed my papers to Thom. I looked down at his story ideas. They were amusing. The first was about a group of four kids who run into a spell run bad and get switched around so they are in each others' bodies. The second was about someone who has to get control of an errant wand that is very cranky to escape from jail, where he was put on a false charge.

I had finished reading his ideas and had been waiting for a while when I said, "Well?"

Come on. Why couldn't he just tell me I'm a freak and get over with it so I can get on with my life?

"This is really good. You're the best writer I've ever met." Thomas said with small smile and a glance at the papers that he was handing me.

He had to be kidding. And really? Like he's met a million famous writers.

Thomas's smile widened and he said, "Although I will admit that there are better writers in the world."

Oh my gosh. I was absolutely amazed. It's like he knew what I was thinking. He probably just saw it on my face. It must have been obvious. Everyone is continually telling me how rude I am. Like they are any less rude for saying it. The bell rang and I stood, sweeping up my things and hurrying to my locker. The faster I got out of there the faster I got home to my free time and Sass.

"Sasha!" Sass ran toward me arms outstretched. Her two black braids flew behind her and her small pink pack hung off one shoulder. I squatted and caught her up in a big hug, twirling her around. Sass buried her face in my shoulder and hung on with all her strength. At four years old Sass was twelve years younger than me and much smaller. I loved her with everything I had and hated my parents for making her life so hard.

I walked into the house of the woman who ran the daycare center. I smiled at her, handed her the money I owed her and got all of Sass's things that she had left behind. One of the good things about this particular day care is that it was inexpensive and close to home. Because I didn't have a car that was essential. I could easily bike or walk into downtown, which was a mere five minute walk and my parents didn't want to give me the money to get a car, besides which they'd never cared enough to help me get a license. Once we started walking Sass got down and held onto my hand as she skipped and jumped. Sass always seemed to have an overabundance of energy.

"Sasha? Is my name the same as yours?" Sass looked up at me.

I smiled, "No. Your name is special. Sass stands for Sassafras. My name is Sasha."

"Oh." Sass appeared satisfied which relieved me. I didn't want to answer questions like that if at all possible. The truth was that Sass's real name, as far as her birth certificate said, was Sasha. When my mom had named her she had completely forgotten that she had named me Sasha. The only differences between our real names are that I have a middle name and Sass doesn't. It was me, not my mom or dad, who renamed Sass. This topic always made me furious, but I hid it because if Sass knew she would want to know why. And that was something I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her that our parents cared so little that they had named us the same thing. I took Sass home, fed her, played with her, did my homework and read my book. Before I knew it I was up the next morning rushing to get Sass to daycare and myself to school. The day passed in a flurry of work and thick skin. On my way to Creative Writing someone tripped me and I fell, sending my stuff flying everywhere. I held back tears of anger as I glared at the impassive crowds of lookers on. There was no evidence that anything had happened except me falling. As I walked away I heard someone mutter, "Freak." Only they pronounced it with two syllables. Fur-eak. I tossed my head flicking those around me with my blue tinted hair. Being tripped was a regular thing for me. Nothing out of the ordinary. In Creative Writing I forgot about the people who insulted and tripped me. I was completely caught up in my writing. I barely noticed it when Thomas did something weird. This was often. He would stop writing to look at me and then quickly look back at his page. He would be writing furiously and then suddenly stop looking off into the distance before shaking his head and writing again. I didn't want to think about why I was so aware of him. Whatever the reason it couldn't be good. The highlight in my day was seeing Sass. Whenever I saw her, bouncing up and down or running around, my heart lifted and I smiled.

**A/N: So what did you think? I know that Thom's POV takes more chapters for the same amount of time, but now I know the characters and so do you so there isn't as big an intro... **


	2. Dancing

**Sasha's Words Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer.**

**Thanks again to the prompt Amcraw123, beta of this story.**

I looked at my paper pen moving swiftly across the page. I was writing poetry. If I got an idea my pen would just float effortlessly across the page, pouring words onto the white sheet. I heard a slight thump and looked up. It was just Thomas. Let me see... Hmmm... I stared down at the page and then let my hand move again. When I was done a poem covered the previously blank paper. The first lines were:

_How do I tell him? _

_What do I say? _

_How do I say it? _

_What should I do? _

It went on from there. Mrs. Kloren cleared her throat and told us to criticize any parts of the story that had already been written. I handed Thomas my five and a half pages about Alex and took his. It was hilarious. One person was in love with a person who hated the person whose body he had been switched into. I had to stuff my fist into my mouth to keep from laughing and disrupting the class. Then Thomas pointed out two things in my story that were phrased so they were hard to understand. I looked in his face as he explained. His eyes were full of pain, misery, and bad memories. I realized I was staring and promptly reprimanded myself. Pay attention! Parallel construction, grammar, 'i' before 'e'... Okay I was rattled. What on earth could make someone his age with his perfect family so unhappy?

Thomas said, "Okay your turn."

I blinked, shook my head very slightly and pointed to the mistakes that he had made in his story.

I was gathering my stuff to leave when Thom said, "I can't wait to see the ending to your story."

The ending? Was that supposed to be rude? But it sounded like he actually liked my writing. Whatever it wasn't like I cared. Except I did. I guess I was just paranoid. But I had good reason. Almost everyone else in this school would've insulted me as soon as tripped me, which they did almost every day. By now my ankles were very strong. Usually I didn't fall, but when I was lost in my own little writing world I tended to forget to watch for tripping feet. I finished picking up my stuff when I noticed Thomas's notebook lying dropped on the floor. I picked it up, stopped quickly by my locker and then caught up with Thomas outside the school. He was walking next to a small girl with hair that stuck in every direction. She was another Cullen. Terri had spent the entire Math period blabbering about how, even though they were family, the Cullen's went out with one another. So that made me wonder who she was to him. Though I had absolutely no right to know.

"Thomas!" I cried, "You dropped this."

He turned, took his notebook and said, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." I turned and walked to the bus. Was that his sister? Or his girlfriend? Exasperated with myself I thought, I don't care. In an emphatic tone.

When I got home there was a phone message from my mom. She was coming back in town for a little while and was taking me to a benefit dance tonight. Whoop-Dee-doo-da. I was to dress up in the dress that she'd left me and put on make-up like a good girl. And she expressly forbid me to bring any sort of book or writing material. I barely suppressed the urge to smash the phone. In my room was a case of make-up- I hated the stuff and didn't own any- and a dress. The best thing that can be said about the dress is that it was blue. I groaned threw my stuff to the ground and raced out of the house on my bike. I picked up Sass, put her in the trailer and went to the grocery store. I bought Sass a microwave dinner, there wasn't time for anything else, and hurried home. I put in her dinner and then we went to my room. I hated the way my parents popped in and out of my life- the longest that my mom had stuck around since I was ten was ten months when Sass was a newborn. But I would do anything to keep life as stable as possible for my little sister. Causing a fuss would not help, so I had to go to the stupid benefit dance. My problem was the benefit or the dance, although I wouldn't enjoy that, but that my mom was unlikely to want to even talk to me. I changed into the dress and presented myself to Sass.

She smiled and said, "You forgot the make-up."

She was right. "I'm putting on the war paint next."

Sass bounced into the bathroom and watched me put on the thrice curst make-up. I went to my parents' empty room and looked in the full length mirror. The dress reached my knees and had a ragged, spiked hem line. Its neckline was too low for my taste even though it didn't reveal my breasts. It was a sleeveless. I didn't know what my mom was thinking. It was fall. And not that warm out.

"You look pretty." Sass told me. She was looking at my face. I wasn't pretty. Ask anyone. I was heavy set and a book worm.

"Thanks Sass." I thanked her even though I didn't agree. A horn beeped and I served Sass's dinner with strict instructions to the twelve year old that was taking care of her to watch her. Then I rushed outside to where Mom was waiting most impatiently in her car. She didn't even look at me. She hadn't seen me for more than four weeks and she didn't even bother to say hi. We arrived at the hospital where the dance was being held and went in. When Mom took off her coat I got my first chance to look at her. She had the same blue eyes and black hair as me. But she was wearing a bright red dress that was tight and left almost nothing to the imagination. Mom's make-up was very pretty, but also way over the top for this sort of thing. She never knew when to stop. This was probably why my life was so messed up. As soon as the dancing started she was off with only a belated, "Have fun!"

It was so boring. I couldn't dance at all and watching everyone else dance from a corner was not fun. Mom hadn't even let me bring my book. After all this was the first time I'd seen her in a month and she was already dancing with handsome strangers. She barely spoke a word to lowly me, her daughter. I was still looking out at the dance floor when I noticed the Cullen's. All of the kids were out there, whirling and spinning gracefully. Then I spotted Dr. Cullen, Thom's adopted father, who had given a short speech, and his wife, Esme Cullen. Everyone was here but Thom. That's when I saw him, leaning against the wall same as he had leaned against his locker that day. There was even a hint of the same misery and hopelessness.

I walked over to him, not sure what on earth I was doing. I supposed talking to Thomas was better than nothing, "Hi, Thomas."

Thomas's eyes flew open and I wondered if that was a bad sign. Then I berated myself for looking for signs of any kind.

"How did you know I was here?"

I barely held in a snort as I nodded to his dancing family, "Your siblings." Why wasn't he out there dancing? None of them lacked skill. Or grace.

"They forced me to come." said Thom, almost as if he had guessed my thoughts. Again. That was silly.

I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Are you all related?" I knew that was just the beginning of my questions, sometimes my curiosity was endless, and I couldn't ask any of them. It wasn't like the answers mattered to me.

Thom chuckled, looking like he got asked this a lot, "No. We were adopted, except Rosalie and Jasper. They've been with Esme awhile."

"Who's who?" I looked at the large family. Jasper, Rosalie? Was Rosalie the little girl? Oh, I was all confused. I knew my confusion was clear on my face.

Thom pointed to his own chest, "I'm Thomas."

"Duh."

Thom pointed to the boy with messy bronze-red hair and the beautiful girl with long dark brown hair, "The boy with the bronze hair is Edward. The girl with the brown hair is Bella." He pointed to the extremely small girl with deep black hair that he had been walking to the parking lot with earlier. "The little pixie with black hair is Alice. She's with Jasper." Jasper was the tall, lean blond. "Alice has a gift for being annoying. The statuesque-" Thomas rolled his eyes, making it plain that she wasn't his favorite person in the world, "-blonde is Rosalie-" Rosalie was indeed statuesque. She was so beautiful that she made a bunch of female models look downright ugly. "And the big guy who is dancing with her is Emmett."

Big wasn't exactly the word I would've used to describe Emmett. More like huge. And very heavily muscled. Were they all together? Or were they just dancing together? There wasn't a polite way of asking or answering that question. I swear, my curiosity was going to be the death of me. The song ended and Thomas's family floated over. I felt more than a little intimidated, but I pretended just to be watching them. They didn't act like they loved each other in a mere platonic way. The boy with bronze hair, Edward, rested his hand on the small of the girl, Bella's back as she snaked her arm around his waist. Emmett's bulky arm around the beautiful Rosalie's shoulders and the other two, Jasper and Alice, held hands. Guess that answered that question.

"Sasha, darling, come meet my friend!" Mom called out to me from a little ways away.

Great. She better not start a relationship with him. The last argument had been bad enough. The next one might be the end of our dysfunctional family.

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Bye, Thomas." On my face I put a fake smile. On my hip I put my hand.

Shortly after Mom forced me to meet her charming, handsome friend I went home. The excuse I told Mom was that I had to put Sass to bed. But I really just wanted to get away from Thomas before I asked or did something I would regret.

**What did you think? Reviews make life worth living! (not quite, but you get the idea)**


	3. The Magic of Libraries

**Sasha's Words Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer.**

**Thanks to Amcraw123 for taking the time to beta this story!**

Sass woke me up early Saturday morning, bouncing on my bed and proclaiming that I had promised to take her to the library. I didn't mind taking her to the library, I loved libraries and this one happened to be one of my favorite places in the world, but I did mind getting woken up at six on a Saturday. The library didn't even open until ten o'clock for goodness sake! But I got out of bed. I made pancakes for Sass and cleaned her up afterwards. Pancakes always meant syrup and syrup meant a bath for both of us. Sass because she was covered in the icky stuff and me because, once I had gotten it all off her, it was all over me. By the time we were both ready to go it was ten o'clock. Mom was still asleep, having arrived home sometime around three. In the library Sass right went for the picture books and I went to the young adult section. I was looking for something to read. I had already finished the book that I had gotten myself and I was in the mood for fantasy.

"Hey Sasha." Thomas said, greatly surprising me.

"Hi." Why did I keep running into him? This was seriously not funny.

"Where did you go last night?"

"Home, my sister needed to be put to bed and I didn't want to stick around to watch Mom dance." Not a lie. And I knew she would woo some poor, stupid, handsome man. I can't be involved in her or Dad's other relationships. Sass needed me too much.

"Sasha! I'm ready!" Sass skipped into the room. I had told her a million times that you didn't run in libraries. Skipping was only a little better. Sass hid behind me as soon as she spotted Thom.

"Your sister?" Thomas asked. I nodded and Sass peeked out from behind me. "What is your name, young Madame?"

"Sassafras." Sass's voice was a squeak. That was strange. Sass was usually much shyer.

"And do you have books to read, Princess Sassafras? Or did you come to see your friends?" Thom asked in just the manner that got Sass to stop hiding behind me. She bounced up to him and showed him her stack of books, almost too heavy for her to carry. Thom picked one up and examined it. "I might not let you take this book home with you. It looks much too interesting."

Sass frowned. "Give it back!"

"Say please." I told her. I had always had to be the one to teach Sass manners.

"Please."

Thom handed he the book with a murmured, "Yes, You're Royal Highness."

Sass giggled and looked up at me.

"Sit down while I finish looking." I said. Sass had never spoken to a stranger before. The look on his face as he teased her... But I can't think like that! Why would he ever like me? It was still entirely possible that he had a girlfriend. Last night didn't change anything. Why was he holding a bunch of books in French? He could read French? Oops. He was looking at me. Find the book I was looking for. Find the book I was looking for. What book was I looking for? Tamora Pierce. No, Kristin Cashore. Fire. Yes. Fire. Brigandell, Hannadell, and Archer. Oh, that's no good. That's a love story. Let's pick... Briar's Book. About a group of young kids. Good.

Okay, I was rambling. Something about the way he had teased and cajoled Sass had shaken me very thoroughly.

"Thom!" A tinkling voice called. I turned to see the girl Alice.

"Yes, Alice?" Thom smiled at his sister.

"Ready to leave, yet?" Alice sounded bored.

Thom nodded and handed me a small scrap of paper. He waved to Sass and walked out of the library. I opened the folded paper.

_Does Sass like water parks? _

As soon as Thomas sat down in the seat next to me I turned to him and demanded, "How did you know that Sass loves water parks?"

"A guess." Thom said calmly, not at all put off.

"Why do you want to know?" This was the question that was burning inside me.

"I thought she might like to go to one."

He wanted to know if Sass likes water parks because he wanted to take her to one. Why would he do something like that?

"Sassafras looked like a kid who could use a day of fun."

I wished he would stop doing that. Did his offer have something to do with me? No. That wasn't possible. I should say yes. He was right. Sass needed the fun. But how could I day yes if he hadn't actually asked?

"You can tell me tomorrow if she would like to go. If you don't want to go, then don't worry about it, it's not a big deal."

I smiled, thinking about Sass. "I'm sure she'd love to. She likes being called Princess Sassafras almost as much as she likes water parks."

"When would be a good time for you?"

Wow. Wow. He was serious. Better keep this to myself. Everyone else would start picking on me more than ever. The Cullen's were loners. "How about this weekend?"

"Maybe Saturday then?" Thomas paused looking as if he'd just realized something. "Or do you need to ask your parents?"

Right. Like they'd even notice. They'd barely spoken to me since they'd got back Friday. "They won't care." Unfortunately, true.

"I'll pick both of you up Saturday morning then." Thomas said.

I muttered, "Okay." Then turned to listen to Mrs. Kloren.

Later, in my bed after finishing everything that needed doing, I tossed and turned. I couldn't get comfortable. My mind wandered to Thom and I remembered the smile and the light he had had in his eyes when he had teased Sass. I tried burying all that deep inside myself. It didn't work. It was time to face the truth that I had been hiding since I'd seen him in the library; I liked Thomas. A lot. I wasn't sure about the difference between love and like. Who did I have to show me? Not my parents, that's for certain. Their marriage was one big mistake and their kids, me and Sass, were another. I put my head in my hands and screwed up my eyes. I tried convincing myself that it was just a crush and would pass in time. Absolutely no success. I would just have to accept this and control myself. I could do it. I had learned a lot about controlling myself with parents, and a temper, like mine.


	4. Waterpark

**Sasha's Words Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer. **

**All the thanks in the world go to Amcraw123 for being patient with me when I send five chapters at once. And for beta-reading them.**

I was in my room finishing making my bed when there was a knock at the front door. I peeked out the window. It was Thom.

"Sass! Don't open the door! Wait for me!" I yelled down to my little sister, who, of course, ignored me. I finished making my bed as I listened to what Sass was saying, "I'm ready to go!"

Then there was the familiar noise of a little girl jumping up and down. I finished the bed and raced down the stairs. I scooped up Sass and started to replace the items that had fallen.

"Hello Sasha." Thom seemed to be hiding a laugh at the excitement my little sister was exhibiting.

"Hi, Thom." I set Sass down and looked inside the bag that I had put together. "Take this Sass. I need to get your car seat."

I walked into the other room to get Sass's nearly unused car seat. After a few minutes of fiddling with straps I had it in Thom's car.

Ten minutes into the forty minute drive Thom said, "Do you have something for Princess Sassafras to play with? If you don't have anything this is going to be one long drive."

How did he know? I had just been about to get out Sass's dolls. I handed them to Sass and she fell asleep playing with them. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Actually she'd woken me up earlier than usual, at four o'clock in the morning.

"Why do this for us?" I asked before I could stop myself. I wanted to stuff my hands into my mouth to stop myself from being rude, but the act itself would've been rude.

"Because joy is a blessing... And because neither of you seemed to have enough of it."

"Thanks." I looked at my fast asleep sister. Sass was only four years old and I tried my best to make sure that she got to be a little kid, even if it meant that I had to be an adult instead of a teenager, but sometimes my best just didn't cut it. Even if I worked endlessly, I couldn't make up for the missing parents in her life. "She'll do anything for you after this."

We spent the rest of the ride in comfortable silence. When we got to the water park, it was in a building, I woke up Sass and carried our stuff in. Thom paid for the tickets, ignoring my insistence that I could pay. I got Sass changed with no small effort. She barely stayed still long enough for me to pick her up. I managed to shove her into the suit and then quickly put on my own tankini. It was black with blue polka dots. I had bought it when I was particularly angry with my parents. Neither of them approved of my dying my hair bluish. After carefully putting away our clothes I scooped up Sass and walked out of the changing room. While we looked around Thomas walked up to us.

"What is it with you and blue?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

"Very funny." I said dryly. I saw his outfit- he was wearing the same non-swimming clothes that he had in the car- and added, "Why aren't you wearing a swimsuit?"  
"I wasn't actually thinking of getting wet."

What was he thinking? Coming all this way and going to all this trouble, and money, and then not swimming! I started to say, "Those tickets were expensive!" But Sass interrupted me.

"You have to swim." Sass had stopped bouncing for the first time since she had woken up.

Thom smiled at the little girl and then went back to the changing room.

I let Sass go play as we waited. When Thomas came back he was wearing a swimsuit. I glanced at him then quickly, and purposely, looked back at Sass. Sass ran back over despite my warning that no running was allowed. She jumped up and down so high that I thought she was going to hurt herself. Or take flight. To prevent either possibility I put my hands on her shoulders, holding her down.

"Ready?" I asked.

"If Her Highness is." Thom bowed to Sass who couldn't help giggling.

"Alright, where to first?" I asked before Sass exploded with impatience. Sass raced off at top speed and we followed. By the time Sass was hungry I was ready for a break. I went to where I had placed the small cooler that I had packed, leaving Thom watching Sass. I found a table and set down the cooler. I looked around and spotted Thom and Sass squirting each other with water. Sass was giggling and squealing and Thom was grinning. Sass looked adorable and I thought, before I could stop myself, how good looking Thom was. Watching the two of them play together made me feel... odd. I loved Sass beyond anything else and I... loved... Thom. It took a lot to admit that to myself, but the way I felt watching him made it impossible to ignore. What was I going to do? No. I knew the answer to that question. I was going to pretend. To him if not to myself as well. I set out the paper plates and napkins. When I next looked up Thom was wheedling Sass. I smiled. I had had a lot of experience trying to get Sass to take a break from having fun long enough to eat or go to the bathroom. When the two arrived I blotted and wrapped up Sass. Then I cleaned her hands with baby wipes. Out of the cooler I took a peanut butter sandwich. I handed it to Sass and got out my own tomato and tofu sandwich.

I looked at Thom and asked, "Would you like something to eat?" I had an extra sandwich just in case.

"No thanks I'm not hungry." Thom said with the tiniest hint of revulsion... at food? "I had a big breakfast."

"Whatever suits you." If he wasn't hungry then he didn't have to eat. Although I was suspicious. As I thought about it I began to realize just how odd he and his family was. They never ate their food. They were all different hair colors and builds, yet they all had pale skin, eyes that changed from golden to black in color, and they were all beautiful. And graceful.

"Is that good?" Thomas asked, interrupting my musings.

I nodded, waiting for the scrunched up face or exclamation 'Eww!'. "Tofu absorbs whatever flavors it's surrounded with."

"No meat?"

"I don't eat meat." I stopped. Wasn't he going to make fun of me? But then, I scolded myself, he didn't make fun of you all the other times someone else would have. And he volunteered to do this. He offered.

"I do!" Sass stared avidly at the cooler. She knew that I had packed salami and cheese slices for her.

"Yes you do." I handed her a rolled up slice of each and smiled at my little sister. I knew my smile was full of love for Sass, but I didn't care. He had never before teased me, so why would he start now? Actually I didn't want to think about that. "I'm a vegetarian." I looked at my sandwich. What? No sarcastic comments, no rude jokes? I looked up at him and saw, in his face, a look that indicated that he didn't think that being a vegetarian was weird and tease worthy. No, he wasn't like that. He was different... I wanted him to be different.

"Whatever suits you."

"Hilarious." He was wildly funny. Not.

"Oh, but it is." Thom said in a protesting tone. I smiled and wiped the peanut butter covered mouth and fingers that belonged to my little sis. As soon as I had stopped wiping and dabbing Sass leaped up and ran off. I shook my head and Thom grinned.

"Are you ready to chase down the little monster?" Thom only half-joked.

"Of course I am."

I spent the entire ride back to my house thinking about all the odd things I had ever noticed about Thom. And the rest of the Cullen's. There was a lot to think about.

"Come on in." I told Thom as I shifted the sleeping Sass to my other hip. Thom was carrying the car seat and bag and I was carrying the exhausted, deep asleep four-year-old. I took once step up the stairs and tripped. I wasn't usually clumsy, but let's see you, after a day of trying to keep up with an energetic four-year-old, carry that same four-year-old inside and then, being unable to see, walk all the way up the stairs without tripping over any of her scattered belongings. I knew I was going to fall on Sass and seriously injure us both, but someone caught me. It was Thom. I gasped. My heart sped up a considerable amount. It wasn't just that he had moved from the door to the stairs in less than a second, but that he was so close. And his skin was so cold. He quickly let go of me and I blushed. How had he caught me?

Thom took Sass out of my arms and asked, "Where we you taking her?"

So much was whizzing through my brain that it took a few minutes for me to register what he had said. "Her room."

I followed him up the stairs and opened the door to Sass's room. He lay Sass down and I put a blanket on her. We walked down the stairs again and I noticed how graceful and lithe his walk was.

I put my hands on my hips and turned to him, "What are you?"

He looked at me with a what-on-earth-are-you-talking-about expression. Humph. Like I was falling for that.

"Right, Thomas." I swung my hair over my shoulder and out of my way. "You don't eat. You're too... perfect." I blushed and hated myself for doing so. "Your skin is freezing. Your eyes change colors. You never trip, stumble, or fall. Your family is the same. Let's not forget that you were across the room from me when I fell, but still managed to catch me less than a second later. I'm probably forgetting stuff, but that's all that comes to mind."

"What do you think I am then?" His voice and eyes were dull, as if I was about to discover some horrible thing and he wasn't happy about some inevitable fate.

"A mythical creature?" Yeah, I know. Stupid. But, I really had no idea. He looked like a superhuman or something.

"A nightmare." said he, anger glinting in his eyes.

"If you don't tell me, I'm going to keep on guessing. Maybe I'll even be kind enough to share." I wasn't sure about the last threat, but I was pretty angry.

"I'm a vampire." he whispered it as he stared at his feet. My first thought, oddly enough, was me wondering why, of all books, Dracula had to be the one that was real. I hadn't even liked the book, though I'd been forced to read it.

When I didn't reply to his little oh-so-shocking statement he looked up. I had raised my eyebrows, not in a disbelieving way, more a curious way.

"I don't think you understand. I'm a _vampire_."

And now he was acting like I was younger than Sass. When would he get it through his thick skull that I didn't care!

"How can you not care that I'm a monster? Doesn't that matter?" Thomas was really upset and more than a little exasperated, like I was purposely refusing to see his point.

I shook my head. I loved him too much to care what he was.

"You love me?" His voice was suddenly raw and full of emotion. How had he known what I was thinking?

"You can read minds!" Of course. Now everything made sense. How he had responded to things I had been thinking and had objected to things I'd never said. I'd just thought he was really observant.

"I can read the top layer of your thoughts." He scrunched his face up and my heart thrummed with love. "Sometimes."

The top layer? What was that? "You heard everything I've thought today?" This was really embarrassing. Especially if he had heard the thoughts that I'd been trying to ignore.

"No. I heard the most obvious thoughts in your head."

I blushed- something I never, ever do- and remembered what I had thought about Thom and Sass playing and how it had made me ache with love for him. Realizing that he was probably in my mind at that very moment, I cut myself off and redirected my thoughts to a less personal and embarrassing topic. Like what I was going to make Sass for dinner.

"There's no need to be embarrassed." Thom informed me, face straight, completely serious.

Yeah right. "But you heard what I was thinking... about you." I said it as calmly as possible, while I unconsciously plunked down into the nearest chair.

"But I was thinking the same thing."

I couldn't help it. I snickered, "About you?"

"About you." the reply was so quiet I almost didn't catch it. My heart stopped for half a second. He hadn't really said that. Had he?

"I did say that."

First thing. Keep him out of my mind. I thought quickly about all the books I had ever read that had mind reading in them... I decided to try the way Brigan kept Fire out. That was until he admitted that he loved her and saved her life. Then he let her in. But that was beside the point. I screwed up my face and thought of what Brigan's mind was described as. He had a wall surrounding it. I built in my mind a fortress made out of rock, this time drawing from Christopher Paolini's writing.

"Where did you learn that?" Thom was looking at me as if I'd just told him I was a child of the gods, like Percy Jackson, completely amazed and surprised.

"Books. Can you tell me about being a vampire? I need to cook Sass's dinner." While I was very curious about vampires I also wanted to lead him away from the question about me loving him. I knew then that my fortress must have worked because otherwise he would've known what I was doing.

"Let's see. Most vampires drink human blood." Thom said in a voice that was only half serious.

"Duh."

"My family and I don't. We only drink animal blood." Thom said as he watched me retrieve pots from the cabinet and ingredients from the fridge.

Hmmm... That was why he and his family could be around humans without drinking our blood. I'd actually been wondering about that. "You're a vegetarian. Like me." I smiled. When his smile wavered I quickly added, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you." Although I wasn't sure how I had insulted him.

"You didn't insult me. We call ourselves vegetarians, it's an inside joke. I was just surprised."

"So everyone in your family..." I was almost one hundred percent sure that everyone else in his family was a vampire as well, but it never hurt to double check.

"We're vampires who stay together as a family. None of us were actually blood relatives in our human lives. Except Bella and Edward's daughter."

"What about your abilities? The defining characteristics of vampires," I looked up at him. I wanted to know everything I could about this new world that was supposed to be fiction.

"We're graceful, fast, strong, and immortal. We have really sharp senses, especially our sense of smell. We're all physically attractive to our human prey."

I know I shouldn't have, but really that much was obvious. I snorted. Thom raised his eyebrows.

"Duh, anyone seeing all of you at once could tell you that." I seemed to be saying duh rather a lot. It was just that some of the things that he was saying were completely obvious.

"Some of us- like me- have extra abilities. I can hear the thoughts of those in my immediate vicinity, only the top layer of thoughts, and the most obvious. I am easily distracted by large crowds."

"Does it hurt?" I thought of the time I had seen him after lunch, looking as if every passing person caused him pain.

"What hurt?"

I could see that he was pretending not to know what I was talking about.

"Hearing all those thoughts inside your head, being overwhelmed."

He nodded his head slightly and stated, "You saw me."

I nodded my head in reply, "You looked... defeated... and miserable and hurt."

He dropped his head into his hands, "It's so much better like this, so much more peaceful."

"Without my thoughts, with only Sass in your head?"

"Sass isn't dreaming so her thoughts aren't in my head either."

I thought about what it must be like to have to hear what everyone around me was thinking. I don't think I'd like it.

I looked into what was visible of his face and saw the clearly written pain and suffering. I changed the subject. "What about your family?"

"Edward can hear thoughts; he's much more powerful and in control than me. Alice can see the future, parts of it. Jasper can feel and control the moods of those around him."

"Do..." I trailed off because I didn't want to upset Thom. I glared at the ingredients that I was stirring in the pot.

"I'm not going to be upset with you for asking questions. I'd actually prefer it." Thom said gently.

I had been about to ask if he wanted to drink my blood. I changed my mind. "Are you hungry, right now?"

"No. I hunted last night. But it's a thirst not a hunger."

That made sense. "How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

I rolled my eyes and asked in an over patient voice, "How long have you been sixteen?"

"Less than a year."

He had been a vampire for such a short time?

"How long have you been with the Cullen's?" I continued my questioning.

"Less than a year."

"What about your life as a human?"

Thom's face darkened and I guessed that I'd touched on a sore subject. His words confirmed it, "You've asked enough questions. You didn't answer mine."

I vigorously scrubbed the stupid plate that I was washing. I looked up at Thom. This was the part I was dreading. "What question?" I knew what he was talking about. I also knew that my face was very embarrassed.

"I asked if you love me."

"I...I... Why do you ask in the first place?" I started with diversion tactics. This was a question I really didn't want to answer. It was only today that I had admitted that I loved him to myself, let alone him.

Thom smirked and I wanted to punch him. Only punching him would achieve only one thing. Me getting hurt.

"When I asked you why it didn't matter about me being a vampire you thought 'I love him too much to care.' Could you please answer the question?"

I had thought that. That was right before I'd realized that he could read minds. It was true. I did love him too much to care. But after everything I'd seen my parents go through... I knew that admitting it, telling him that I loved him, would make me that much more exposed. I couldn't say anything. Half of me, the cautious, suspicious part screamed, 'Don't say it!' the other half, the daring, loving half yelled, 'Tell him already!' I had no idea what to do. Thom made the decision for me, in a way.

"I love you." he whispered it as he walked slowly to the door. I nearly ran to catch up to him. When he turned to look at me I just stared into his face. I searched for the answer to his question inside myself. After a minute or two he moved to tuck a blue strand of my hair behind my ear. That was when it really hit me. I loved him. It wasn't the kind of love that was just going to disappear. It was permanent. Thom's face and eyes were filled with love and pain. He watched me for a reaction as he slowly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. His skin was frigid and his body hard as a rock. But I felt safe in his arms. As if nothing could ever hurt me.

I relaxed as I whispered, "I love you."

Thom's head jerked upward from where he had been resting his chin on my head. I inhaled his scent, slightly sweet and the smell of cold winter air. We stayed as still as possible. This, I discovered, was very still for a vampire. We pulled apart when the timer that told me that dinner was ready went off.

"What are you making?" he asked as he peered into the pot of the stove.

"Mac and cheese, and peas. Go wake Sass. It's time for dinner, for us humans." I teased. Something had changed when I had told him that I loved him and when he had held me to him like I was the most breakable (compared to him, I was) and precious thing in the world.

I knew that Sass was awake when I heard the telltale shriek of, "Mac, cheese, and peas!"  
I ate my serving of homemade Mac, cheese, and peas without really tasting it. I was too absorbed in thoughts of Thom and what had just happened to say anything. Sass more than made up for my silence. She chattered on and on about her favorite slides and the best place to squirt water from.

When we were both done- I had known better, this time, than to ask Thomas if he wanted anything- I took our dishes into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. I was just scooping the leftovers into a container to be stored in the fridge when I heard the sound of a car pulling into the drive way, two door slams, and stomping feet. Mom and Dad were back. I walked over to where Thom and Sass sat at the dinner table. I put a comforting hand on my little sister's shoulders. Only four and already she was afraid of her parents. The door opened and I screwed up my courage.


	5. Parents and Other More Pleasant Things

**Sasha's Words Chapter 5 **

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer.**

Mom and Dad came in, looking like they were in the middle of a big argument.

"Who're you?" They asked together. It was the first time in forever that they were thinking the same thing. I was impressed.

"Thomas Cullen." Thom stood up, "I was just working on a school assignment with Sasha."

Thank the lord. I was usually against lying, but this was an exception.

Mom shrugged and said, "Fine."

This is the kind of mom I have. Some people would be thrilled if their mom was like that, but not me. She didn't care because she didn't care about me.

Dad whirled on her, "What do you mean 'fine'?" He was occasionally a decent dad. Apparently, this was one of those occasions.

"I mean exactly what I said." Mom shouted at him. And, just like that they were back to yelling insults and accusations at each other. None of them had anything to do with me, Thom, or Sass. Thom slipped out the door and I pulled Sass into my arms before following. When we were outside his car, Thom ruffled Sass's hair and gave me a hug that was much too short.

"I'll meet you in the woods behind your house tomorrow at noon." he whispered in my ear. He let go of me and then... Then he kissed me on the forehead before getting into his car and driving away. I stood frozen with shock. I know he'd said he loved me, but still. My heart was thrumming much faster than usual and my eyes were wide. It was Sass who woke me from my, well, coma.

She tugged on my sleeve, "Do we have to go in?"

I looked down at her dark brown, almost black, eyes, so different from my own, and saw tears welling in them. I picked her up and walked inside. Because, much as I wished it was otherwise, we did have to go back in. My parents completely ignored us and I took Sass up to her room and tucked her in. I spent the next couple hours trying to read. Usually, I had no problem burying myself in the pages of a book, but I couldn't get interested tonight. Finally giving up, I lay staring at the ceiling just thinking about the day. I must have dozed off, because I woke up the next morning to Sass sitting on my bed, curled into a nearly perfect circle. I smiled at her.

"Hey, Sass."

"I'm hungry, Sasha."

And so I took her downstairs and fixed her breakfast.

At around ten o'clock my parents finally emerged from their rooms. They told us to sit down on the couches in the living room and we complied, me with an uneasy feeling in my gut.

Mom smiled, giddily, which was always a bad sign. Mom never smiled. Not around me or Sass. Unless there was someone she was trying to impress.

"We've decided-" Dad said in an even tone.

"To go on a cruise around the world!" Mom interrupted.

"What do I always say about not interrupting me? How are they supposed to understand when you won't shut up?" Dad screamed at her. This was the thing with my parents. They got on each other's nerves so easily. It took almost nothing to set them off.

"And you're always trying to order me about, telling me when to breathe, and when to go to sleep! I am not your slave!" Mom yelled at Dad. I sighed and told Sass to go up to her room. Neither noticed.

When Sass was safely up the stairs I stepped in between the two.

"Both of you shut up and tell me what is going on." I refrained from using swear words. That would only rile them up more.

Mom turned to me and, without even a pretense at politeness, snapped, "The two of us are going on a cruise for a couple years, to help our marriage. You will be staying here and the little one-" she didn't even call Sass by her name "-will be going to your aunt's. And, just so you can't rat us out, we got new cells. We're leaving in an hour. Pack her bags."

I nodded. Then I marched out of the room, mumbling swear words under my breath. The door slammed behind me. They give me an hour's warning.

I went up to Sass's room. I peeked in; she was playing with her dolls. I went to the attic and grabbed all the bags I could. There were only four medium sized duffels. They would fit all of the stuff that she would be able to take with her.

"Sasha? Why do you have bags?" Sass stopped playing with her dolls the instant I walked into her room.

"Because we're packing up the stuff that you're taking with you." Sass started to cry. I held her in my arms resisting the urge to cry as hard as she was, "You're going to live with our aunt. I'm staying here."

After a few minutes I added, "I'll see you every holiday." I would. Even if I had to hitchhike. "And I'll talk to you every day. But you need to get ready to go. You'll be leaving in less than an hour."

And so the two of us packed all of Sass's meager wardrobe, her dolls, the things she couldn't do without. I made sure to put in a framed picture of the two of us. I waved goodbye as my parents drove off with Sass in the back of the car. Her face was pressed against the window and she was sobbing silently. I'd made her promise to be very quiet and good, at least until she got to our aunt's. My parents were already mad at each other. They might just blame Sass if she started throwing a fit. At least our aunt was a kind woman who would try her best. She was okay with kids. It was only eleven and there was an hour until Thom had promised to meet me, but I couldn't bear being in the house anymore. It was empty; haunted by the vivid presence Sass had been before they'd taken her away. I was only sixteen, so I'd have to be really careful not to draw attention to myself. A sixteen-year-old girl living alone was not going to be looked upon favorably by the government. I threw on some warm sweatshirt and fled to the woods. I knew that Thom would be able to follow my scent. I sat down on the ground, placing my back to the rough tree bark. I suppressed the tears. I closed my eyes.

I heard a branch snap and my eyes opened. Thom had arrived. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I collapsed. Thom was beside me and he pulled me into his arms. I buried my head in his shoulder and cried for my little sister. I cried tears of rage at my parents and tears of disbelief that they had taken away the one thing that I loved above all else. My little sister. Thom waited patiently throughout the entire thing, stroking my hair.

"What happened?" Thom asked.

I wiped the tears off my face with the back of my hand. I couldn't bear looking into his face so I told his shirt, "My parents decided to go on vacation to 'save their marriage.' They're going on a cruise around the world. They'll be back in a few years; if at all."

"What about Sass? What about you? Who'll pay the bills?" Thom hugged me to him, holding me safe in his arms.

I put my puffy eyes against Thom's cold neck, to soothe them. "They took Sass to my aunt who lives in Maine. I've paid the bills using a special account of theirs for a long while. They even discontinued their cell phones. I've no way of reaching them."

I sat in Thom's arms for another hour or two. Then I stood up and brushed the forest dirt off my pants. Thom stood next to me.

"Go home, Thom." I said, pretending that I didn't want him to stay with me. I didn't look into his face, not wanting to see his hurt, so I studied his shirt that was soaked from my tears.

"Sasha, why should I leave you?" Thom asked.

I put on hand on my hip and told him, "Because I'm making you go home to your vampire family." I could feel Thom's anger building. I didn't want him to hurt me when he exploded.

"Why?" Thom's voice was full of hurt. I leaned into him and kissed his neck, not wanting to hurt him.

"Because my situation is making you angry, you should let out your anger around others of you kind; your equals." I gently stroked his cheek.

"I promise." Thom said. I smiled, shakily, and tried to walk confidently back to my house. I wouldn't cry. I couldn't cry anymore. I was all out of tears. I was wrong about being out of tears, because when I walked past Sass's room to my own, tears leaked out of my eyes. I blinked them away and sat down to do homework. I couldn't focus so I picked up the phone and dialed Thom's cell. No reply. I called his house.

"Hello?" A pretty and bored voice answered.

"Is Thomas there?" I asked.

"No." The voice growled and hung up. I sighed and tried to focus on the stupid math problems.

I got about three done before the phone rang.

"Hello!" I said, the caller identification told me that it was Thom. Or one of the other Cullen's.

"Hey Sash. I believe you called," Thom said.

"I was just making sure that you kept your unwilling promise." I told him.

"Well, I don't know." Thom teased, "For all you know, I could be anywhere."

"Then why are you calling from the land line?" I had him trapped.

"True."

There was a beeping noise that indicated that someone else was calling me. I swore. "That's my aunt calling. Probably wanting to know why Sass won't eat P.B. and J sandwiches. Bye, Thom."

"Bye." Thom said and I switched over to my aunt. She did indeed want to know why Sass wouldn't eat jelly on her sandwich. After I explained about Sass not liking jelly and a couple other handy tips, I got back to my homework. At about ten I went to bed. I actually slept a little. I was exhausted from the stress of the day.

The school day passed even slower than usual, crawling by. It seemed a millennium before I saw Thom in Creative Writing. I brightened when he walked in, but I was more careful than ever to hide the empty ache where my sister had been in my life.

When class was done and the bell had rung, Thom said to me, "So I met your..." He didn't finish his sentence, looking like he was trying not to touch on a sore subject.

"Thom."

"I met your family and I want you to meet mine." Thom was looking at me as if trying to figure out my reaction. I was nervous, but it wasn't because they were vampires. It was obvious that they meant a lot to Thom and he wanted me to meet them so I would just have to deal.

"When?"

"I was hoping for today." Thom opened the classroom door for me and we walked out.

"Guess I'm not taking the bus home, then." I hadn't actually been planning on taking the bus, but it was the best way to let Thom know that it wasn't as big a deal as he seemed to think. As we walked to Thom's car everyone stared at us. The Cullen's had a definite reputation for keeping to themselves and I was a nobody.

**Could just one person review and tell me what they think of this? **


	6. His Family Among Other Things

**Sasha's Words Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer. **

Thom took me to my house first. I put on jeans and a sweatshirt, not wanting to freeze in a house full of freezing vampires. Now the nervousness and worry about meeting Thom's family was growing, like a cancer, inside me. I tried very hard not to let it show on my face, but I guess that Thom saw something anyway.

"It'll be fine," he said it quietly and confidently, but I knew he was lying. There was something he wasn't telling me. I wondered what that something was. Thom drove for a short while going exactly the speed limit. The house that he pulled up to had a really long driveway and was surrounded by trees. The house was large and pale. It looked old, very old, and beautiful. But it didn't really surprise me. I got out of the car. I held my book in one hand and extended the other hand to Thom.

"Slow poke," I accused, smiling a carefree smile. It wasn't hard to smile when Thom was around me. Kind of like Sass. But different, of course. I could tell from the pain in Thom's eyes that he still saw through the smile to the weak girl who missed her sister. But then, in a movement so fast I couldn't see it, Thom was by my side. I slipped my hand into his and leaned against him, very briefly, needing the comfort. Thom led me up the steps to the porch and then through the front door. It opened on the first floor of the house. There were no walls so I could see everyone in the room. Carlisle, who looked like a young god, Esme, who looked like the sweetest woman in the world, Alice, the tiniest vampire in the room, Jasper, who looked as if he were judging my mood, Emmett, who was humongous, Edward, who was staring at me as if I were an alien, Bella, who was absorbed in the small child in her arms. There were two in the room that I didn't know. One was the small girl. She looked about Sass's age and she had curly, bronze hair and big, chocolate eyes. She looked like she was the girl that Thom had mentioned, Edward and Bella's daughter. Thom had said something about her being half-human and half-vampire. The second person in the room was most definitely not a vampire. He was huge. Like Emmett, only a lot taller. He had short black hair and russet skin. He looked about twenty-five. Alice stood up and walked over to Thom.

"Thanks for the warning, Thomas," her voice was like bells, tinkling and chiming as she spoke.

"No problem," Thom grinned.

"Hello, Alice," I said, using a confidence that was completely mine- meaning it wasn't Jasper induced.

"Hi! What book?" Alice pointed a small finger at the book in my hand. I was re-reading it for the millionth time.

"The Will of the Empress by Tamora Pierce." I handed the book to Alice. It was beaten up and old-looking from me lugging it around everywhere.

"Is it good?"

"One of my favorites." I nodded. It was then that the oddity of being surrounded by vampires kicked in. The little girl got off Bella's lap and trotted up to me. Every vampire in the room became a ice statue. Was that how they dealt with stuff like nerves and anger and surprise? Anyway, it was easy to tell what the girl wanted. She held her arms up, like Sass did when she wanted to be picked up. I scooped her up and balanced her on one hip. One of the girl's small palms went to my cheek and she thought into the defenses outside my mind, _I'm Renesmee- Nessie- Cullen. Why are you sad? _

I paused, the question brought on infinite sadness that I pushed back. I wasn't exactly surprised that the girl's voice resounded within my head, Thom could read my thoughts if I let down my defenses. I was more surprised that I could hear her, even though her voice only sounded outside of my impenetrable fortress. I said in a calm voice that didn't show any of my sadness, "I am sad because my little sister is in a new place surrounded by near strangers with no one to comfort her."

I leaned against Thom for the tiniest portion of a second, thinking about Sass. Then I straightened and suppressed the welling emotions and thoughts inside of me. Jasper could still read my emotions- they weren't protected by my defenses- and Thom could read Jasper's thoughts.

"I'm sorry that Renesmee asked you that. She had no right." Edward said in a vampire voice of velvet.

I decided to try something that I'd been thinking about. I put a thought outside my defenses.

_Don't be. Children have the clearest eyes of all. _

From Thom's raised eyebrow I guessed that it had worked.

"How do you do that?" Edward asked, looking confused.

"Practice," I said, grinning wickedly. Everyone in the room who didn't have the power to read minds was completely confused. I looked at Thomas, trying to tell him that he should explain. He shook his head. With a mental sigh, I said, "Edward, and Thom, can only hear the thoughts that I want them to. I built a..." I searched for the right word to describe my defenses, "fortress around my thoughts. So I can have privacy.

Emmett chuckled. The big guy, the one who's name I didn't know, said, "That's got to be useful."

I didn't know who he was so I looked at Thom.

"This is Jake, a friend of Nessie's." Thom said. But, from the way that Jake acted, he was more like a big brother or something. It was strange. "You know who everyone else is."

This seemed to be the signal for everyone else to come closer. First was Carlisle, who was diplomatic and sympathetic, and Esme, who was sweet and kind. Jasper was silent and aloof, I got the feeling that he stayed mostly on the edge of things. Emmett seemed to find the whole situation amusing and Jake was, well, normal. After everyone had said hello I looked around the room and spotted something. It was a piano, a beautiful grand piano. I had taken lessons as a younger child and loved to play. Actually I loved to sing and play the piano at the same time. I focused only on the piano, not paying attention to anything else, even Thom's hand in mine. I walked over and raised my hand to stroke one of the keys when I stopped.

"May I?" I didn't know who owned it, so I didn't know who I was asking. It didn't matter because I was still looking at the piano.

"Of course." Edward said, indicating that this was his piano.

I sat down at the bench and positioned myself to play. I usually only tinkered around on my electric keyboard. I played the song "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift. Then I sang as my hands flew over the keys.

"_Your little hands wrapped around my finger_

_And it's so quiet in the world tonight_

_Your little eyelids flutter 'cause your dreaming_

_So I tuck you in and turn on your favorite night light_

_To you, everything's funny_

_You got nothing to regret_

_I'd give you all I have honey _

_If you could stay like that"_

I sang the rest of the song, my voice not entirely obeying my commands. It quavered on the higher notes and I winced at how out of practice I was. During the first few lines I was incredibly aware of the way that everyone was looking at me and, especially, the way Thom was riveted by my music. But then I lost myself in the song, riding the notes as they rose and fell, expressing sadness, regret, and love in the simple words.

I only came back to earth when the song ended. I muttered, "Boy am I rusty."

Esme said, "That was beautiful."

I blushed. I was way out of practice and my singing had had hundreds of mistakes in it.

Thom told me, "I told you."

I looked at him. I loved him, but I knew that he had been lying when he had told me that everything would be fine.

Then I heard a snarl an Rosalie strutted into the scene, in a huff. Rosalie's eyes landed on me and she froze. Was this a regular thing with vampires? Because it seemed to happen very often.

"Hello, Rosalie," I said in a calm voice, unimpressed by Rosalie's angry huff.

"You hair is blue." was all she managed to say.

"Wow. I never noticed." I said in a highly sarcastic tone. I resisted the great urge to roll my eyes. Thom fell forward into a defensive stance, protecting me. I put my hand on Thom's shoulder, wanting him to relax. He only half obeyed. His crouch became more upright, but he was still tense. Rosalie glared at me, obviously hating me, and I glared right back. It was a stupid thing to do, but so what? I won the glare contest and Rosalie stomped, gracefully, out.

I glanced at Thom and rolled my eyes. He looked ready to face an army of vampires' intent on killing me. "Jeez, Thom."

Thom straightened, took my hand, and led me upstairs. He looked like he wanted to get me as far away from Rosalie as possible. He showed me into my room and hovered in the door, anxious at me seeing this part of him. I looked around the room, but the thing that drew my attention was the bookshelf. I inspected the books. All he had was classic literature that I harbored a deep dislike for. Like Moby Dick (that book is pure torture) and Huckleberry Finn (I barely finished that one alive).

"Don't you own any current works?" Thom shook his head with a slight smile and I continued, "You actually like these?" I asked in a highly skeptic tone.

"No. They were a gift from my parents." Thom's tone was strange, like he was confused about how he felt about his parents. But before I had time to ponder this, he teased, "I thought you loved reading."

"I do." I grinned. "Just not _that _reading."

"Very particular aren't you?" Thom teased, with a light in his eyes.

"No." I objected with a smile, "I just prefer fantasy and Y.A. Fiction. What about you?"

"Preferably fantasy in French."

I snorted and allowed Thom to hear my thought, _how typical._

"What are your favorite authors and books?" Thom smiled.

"I have a list, a very long, typed-up-on-my-computer-until-its-three-pages-long, list of favorite books and authors. But my main favorites are Tamora Pierce and J.K. Rowling." I thought of Sass's reaction when she first saw my list. We continued to talk books for a while longer, but we were interrupted by Alice and Jasper.

"Thom!" Alice called in a sing-song voice that made Thom roll his eyes.

Thom said to me, as Alice entered the room, "Did you know that out of everyone in the family the most annoying is also the smallest?"

I laughed and covered my mouth with my hands.

"He's absolutely hilarious, isn't he?" Alice asked me.

I nodded. "I told him as much. He didn't listen to me."

Thom interrupted, "Actually, you said 'hilarious' in a very dry tone and I told you that it was."

It was the truth. I tried to keep the smile off my face, but my lips still twitched up. "Humph."

"It's the truth." Thom objected.

"Right, of course it is." I muttered, more to myself than anyone else. I looked at Jasper, curious. There was something I'd wanted to try ever since Thom had told me what he could do, "Could you?"

Jasper looked befuddled. "Could I what?"

"Could you fiddle with my emotions?" I fiddled with my hair instead of looking at Jasper. When the silence stretched for long minutes I said to Thom, "It's not a big deal."

I saw the silent exchange that must have happened between the two. Jasper's eyebrows clicked together as he thought something to Thom and Thom's eyes flickered to me as he nodded. Jasper turned to me and I wondered what he could feel in my emotions. Suddenly, the calm that I felt was replaced by giddy excitement that made me want to jump up and down like Sass. Then there was exhaustion and my eyes drooped. It was all I could do to keep from falling asleep at once.

"Wow." was all I could manage. And then my watch went off. At the exact same time my belly rumbled with hunger.

"Are you ready to go?" Thom asked me.

I nodded and said goodbye to Alice and Jasper.

"Get on my back." Thom smiled as I raised both my eyebrows. "I'm going to show you a vampire-only exit."

"Cool." I clambered onto his back as he knelt and held on tightly. Then Thom stood, walked over to the window and jumped out. He fell expertly and the wind rushed through my hair. It was the most incredible thing in the world. We landed without any noise or jarring. "That was awesome! I want to do that again!"

Thom chuckled and looked at the living room windows, smiling at someone inside. "Another day." Thom knelt and I slid off. I caught up Thom's hand in mine and we walked back to his car. The ride back to my house was a blur. We walked in and I didn't really notice Sass's absence, or tried not to anyway, until my eyes fell on Sass's empty chair. I heated up a veggie burger and decided that I needed to talk to keep my mind off... things.

"Do you want one?" I asked, innocently.

"No thanks." Thom said with such a disgusted expression that I started laughing.

Now I was curious. "Can you eat it, if forced to?"

"Sure. Then I have to choke it up later." Thom said completely serious.

"Gross." I muttered as I started to eat my burger. Then I did homework for an hour. When I couldn't concentrate anymore, I stood up and gestured for Thom to follow me. I took him to my room and it was my turn to experience the anxiety that comes when you show someone who is really important to you a part of you. Watching Thom, I noticed his gaze fall upon my piles of books and notebooks. Thom went over to a pile of notebooks full of my writing, recent and ancient. He started to pick one up. I snapped back into myself and grabbed my pajamas.

"Stay right there." I ordered Thom as I left the room. I headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I got in and the hot water was relaxing, even though I greatly disliked showers. The day had been long and stressful, no matter what I pretended. When my short shower was done, I brushed my teeth, hair, and put on my pj's. I hurried back into my room, unreasonably worried that Thom would be gone. I entered my room to see that Thom was frozen in the same position as he had been when we left. His hand was extended to pick up a notebook. I felt so glad, so relieved to see him that I walked closer, letting my clothes fall to the floor.

Thom started to lower his hand to his side, but I said, "I didn't say you could move." Thom froze. I lifted my hand, slowly, hesitantly, to his face. I traced his strong nose and cheekbones, feeling the wonderful coldness of his skin. Thom stopped doing an imitation of a statue and came closer to me. He brought his lips to mine and I could both see and feel the carefulness of his movements. After a few seconds that seemed an eternity. Thom stepped away and smiled blissfully. I barely stopped myself from crossing my arms and glaring at him. Being so close to Thom had felt so good and the space between us felt too large. After another couple minutes, I went over to my bed, which was pushed into the corner. Then I opened my closet and grabbed all the blankets I had. I lay down on my bed and arranged the blankets around, under, and over myself.

Thom snickered, "You know that it's early fall, right?"

I rolled my eyes, because Thom's skin made it a lot colder in my room. I beckoned him over and he came, like a puppet on strings. I patted the spot next to me, needing Thom's proximity. Thom sat where I had indicated. I used my gaze to tell him that I was exasperated and he wasn't doing what I wanted. Thom sighed heavily looking like I was using up his self-control. He lay down and I lay my head on his chest like a pillow. I thought about the carefulness that he had to constantly employ around me. The amazing self-control that he had to use. I frowned.

"What's wrong?" Thom ran his hands through my hair, soothingly.

I didn't really want to say it aloud for fear that he would be upset. "I want to be a vampire."

"No." Thom said, emphatically.

"I don't want to be a vampire because I think it'd be cool to be a monster." I was determined.

"Why then?"

"Because then you wouldn't have to be so darn careful. I'm too fragile. Eventually something will happen to me."

"You aren't going to be a vampire." Thom said firmly, and I knew that it would take a lot of work to convince him otherwise.

"Why not?"

"Sash," Thom said in a voice that was full of desperation and hurt, "I was made a vampire by a mistake on the part of the one who created me. I woke up from three days of horrible pain and found my way home, terrified. My parents welcomed me and were glad to see for all of five seconds. I thought I was going crazy when I thirsted for my parents' blood and knew I was going crazy when my parents tried, and failed to kill me and were sent to jail. I loved my parents more than anything and they felt the same way about me. But when I got turned into a monster I lost everything."

I felt so sorry for Thom, so sympathetic. But I wasn't going to be distracted. "I'm sorry. But you have a family now."

"Not like I did before. And now I have you. I'm not letting you do that to yourself."

"Thom." I tried to reason, "I know what I want."

"So you're going to leave Sassafras."

Now he was playing the guilt card. "No. I don't know." I admitted. "I'll figure it out someday. Somehow."

I could feel Thom smile into my hair. "I love you, Sasha."

Of course I already knew that, but it still felt amazing to hear him say it. "I love you, Thom." I closed my eyes and fell quickly into the land of dreams.


End file.
